Dance

I dance around these empty halls,
Thinking of things that are to come
Singing of the endless sorrows of the past,
Wondering about the life ahead.

I dance around the problems I face,
Hoping to outrun them
Praying I can escape the pain,
Hoping to see the light of day.

Wondering

I have been there before
Looking over my should
Wondering if this is the day
When everything comes crashing down
When lies, loves, and desires are reviled
When all the secrets I’ve kept
Come back to haunt me

Would It

If I told you my secret
Would it matter?
If I told you the desires of my heart
Would it matter?
What if I told you my heart is in your hands,
What if I said you could have it,
Would it matter ?
Do I matter ?
Do you think you could love me?
Would it matter if I said I love you?
Would any of this matter to you?

Gone

The days of waiting for you are finished
I'm no longer holding my breath for you
No longer will jealousy take grasp of my heart
No longer will desire burn with in me
The care and love I once felt is ignored
Buried deep inside, never to be opened
I morn my loss of you, but never again will I morn
Yet, even still my heart is halved with the loss of you

I am ready

I am ready to take a chance with you
I am ready to stay up in those clouds with you
I am ready to give my everything to you
I am ready to be high on you
I am ready to be ready for you.....

To long

Everything seems bleak without you
Life has lost its colour
Life had lost its meaning
I need you here
I need to know i am loved
I need to know there is more than this,
My life needs its colour back
My life needs the meaningfulness it once had,
I need the love i once felt back

To long have i felt nothing
To long has meaninglessness,
Ruled my life
To long has the loss of love,
Held me back from living
To long have i waited for you
No longer
Will i wait for your love
No longer will i wait,
For you to make me feel meaningful

cleaning my room...

I hate cleaning my room. It is something i try very hard not to do.
People can say its cause i'm lazy but that's not it.
I don't like my room to be too clean. That's just how I am.
When my room is messy its when i feel the most comfortable and most at home.
My messy room in some ways reflects how i am on the inside. I am very much a mess.
I am emotional, always sick w/ something, and either my life is teetering toward a pit of darkness or my life is great. More so my life is teetering toward a pit of nothingness.
When my room is clean i feel like a fake, as if for some stupid reason i'm trying to prove to myself that my life is perfect like my room which it is not.
I don't want to be someone I am not.
I would rather live in the truth rather than live in a lie.